Tafkabyak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical meerkat.

Tafkabyak created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafkabyak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tafkabyak, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tafkabyak's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tafkabyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never wear violet scarves.

3. Always look after injured squirrels.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.