Stipkonnell is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, amazing aardvark.

Stipkonnell created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipkonnell, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stipkonnell, it will turn you into a mouse.

Stipkonnell's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Stipkonnell's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never feed garlic to swans while wearing brown shoes.

3. Always wear white.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never think ill of sick capybaras.