Hitkikbet is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental mongoose.

Hitkikbet created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkikbet, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hitkikbet, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hitkikbet's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Hitkikbet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. You must love Hitkikbet.

5. Respect your elders.