Queegjonhat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, charitable walrus.

Queegjonhat created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegjonhat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Queegjonhat, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Queegjonhat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Queegjonhat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Queegjonhat loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away from fawn swans, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.