Jenzassyan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, duplicitous wolf.

Jenzassyan created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenzassyan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jenzassyan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jenzassyan's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jenzassyan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Put Jenzassyan first in all things.

4. Never feed cherries to whales while wearing turquoise stockings.

5. Jenzassyan loves dogs, so they must be respected.