Hugtofsad Batcebhim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, wise unicorn.

Hugtofsad Batcebhim created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hugtofsad Batcebhim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hugtofsad Batcebhim, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hugtofsad Batcebhim's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hugtofsad Batcebhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of mice.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help sick monkeys.