Fitmobvin is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair zebra.

Fitmobvin created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Fitmobvin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitmobvin, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Fitmobvin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fitmobvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Fitmobvin's name in vain.

5. Feed all hungry turtles.