Jonloopcid is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciless skunk.

Jonloopcid created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jonloopcid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jonloopcid, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jonloopcid's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Jonloopcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of sharks.

2. You must love Jonloopcid.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.