Renkemjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, omniscient hamster.

Renkemjen created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Renkemjen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Renkemjen, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Renkemjen's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Renkemjen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink seals for they are unholy.

2. Retreat if seven manatees approach from the west.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Never talk about pigs.