Tapcibhindavsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic capybara.

Tapcibhindavsaw created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcibhindavsaw, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tapcibhindavsaw, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tapcibhindavsaw's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tapcibhindavsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Tapcibhindavsaw loves voles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. You must love Tapcibhindavsaw.

5. Tapcibhindavsaw must be the most important thing in your life.