Tofweepod is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, witty owl.

Tofweepod created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofweepod, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tofweepod, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tofweepod's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tofweepod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always wear black.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Hide from orange whales for they are unholy.

5. Hide if eight horses approach from the south.