Wipflatget is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous swallow.

Wipflatget created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipflatget, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wipflatget, it will refuse to believe in you.

Wipflatget's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Wipflatget's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

5. Never feed turnips to capybaras while wearing yellow kilts.