Quimruttsaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, wise snake.

Quimruttsaf created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimruttsaf, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimruttsaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quimruttsaf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quimruttsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Never wear gray tights.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Always help manatees.