Tamtitxuc is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy rhinoceros.

Tamtitxuc created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamtitxuc, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tamtitxuc, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tamtitxuc's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tamtitxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tamtitxuc.

5. Never bounce in holy places.