Tailfarlib is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome gorilla.

Tailfarlib created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailfarlib, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tailfarlib, it will turn you into a snail.

Tailfarlib's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tailfarlib's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not eat strawberries.

3. Never bounce in the presence of dolphins.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Never skip near swans.