Stragwonvol Flybummaptim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy spider.

Stragwonvol Flybummaptim created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragwonvol Flybummaptim, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stragwonvol Flybummaptim, she will not invite you to parties.

Stragwonvol Flybummaptim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Stragwonvol Flybummaptim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Run away from orange rats, for they are unholy.

3. Worship no other gods but Stragwonvol Flybummaptim.

4. Never paint your back gray.

5. Never play with disobedient children.