Gonhatbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unthoughtful giraffe.

Gonhatbaf created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonhatbaf, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gonhatbaf, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Gonhatbaf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gonhatbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.