Tipnegjad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, charitable squirrel.

Tipnegjad created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tipnegjad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tipnegjad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tipnegjad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tipnegjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tipnegjad's name in vain.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Erect five titanium sculptures of Tipnegjad on top of important buildings.