Yattmobgess is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless armadillo.

Yattmobgess created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattmobgess, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yattmobgess, it will destroy your home planet.

Yattmobgess' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yattmobgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention swans.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Yattmobgess must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed corn to snails while wearing pink corsets.

5. Do not listen to music.