Sogflatmap is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fussy turtle.

Sogflatmap created the Tadpole Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogflatmap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sogflatmap, it will destroy your home solar system.

Sogflatmap's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Sogflatmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.