Sitjopjon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, smart duck.

Sitjopjon created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitjopjon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sitjopjon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Sitjopjon's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sitjopjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Sitjopjon on top of all buildings.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed garlic to grasshopers while wearing purple jumpers.