Lanzobvab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humane grasshopper.

Lanzobvab created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanzobvab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lanzobvab, she will turn you into a frog.

Lanzobvab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lanzobvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never bounce near sharks.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about cell theory.