Lopfembaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring penguin.

Lopfembaf created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopfembaf, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lopfembaf, she will turn you into a mouse.

Lopfembaf's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Lopfembaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven capybaras approach from the east.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always wear red.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.