Tunnill is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered gorilla.

Tunnill created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunnill, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tunnill, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tunnill's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tunnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tunnill's name in vain.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help snails.

5. Fast once a month.