Titquafspag is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, deceitful crow.

Titquafspag created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titquafspag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Titquafspag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Titquafspag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Titquafspag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not speak about beans.