Armxem is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unjust octopus.

Armxem created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Armxem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Armxem, she will torture you forever.

Armxem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Armxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.