Tafdudmipvol is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent armadillo.

Tafdudmipvol created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tafdudmipvol, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tafdudmipvol, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tafdudmipvol's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tafdudmipvol's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never feed apples to voles while wearing purple boots.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

5. You must never eat cherries.