Bafbimlakzimkin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-confident cow.

Bafbimlakzimkin created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Bafbimlakzimkin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bafbimlakzimkin, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bafbimlakzimkin's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bafbimlakzimkin's Holy Commandments

1. Bafbimlakzimkin loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Never sit in the presence of whales.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.