Fenloparm is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, cheerful dolphin.

Fenloparm created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenloparm, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fenloparm, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fenloparm's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fenloparm's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.