Lapkinarp is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, generous fairy.

Lapkinarp created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapkinarp, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lapkinarp, she will turn you into a plant.

Lapkinarp's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lapkinarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.