Gonvegmum is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering jaguar.

Gonvegmum created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonvegmum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gonvegmum, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gonvegmum's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gonvegmum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Gonvegmum on top of important buildings.

2. Always wear red.

3. You must pray to Gonvegmum five times a day.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.