Quatgadtonk Jatwadman Tonlidtar is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, clever jackal.

Quatgadtonk Jatwadman Tonlidtar created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatgadtonk Jatwadman Tonlidtar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quatgadtonk Jatwadman Tonlidtar, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quatgadtonk Jatwadman Tonlidtar's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quatgadtonk Jatwadman Tonlidtar's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide from red pigs for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.