Gemlundussogpanjan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humane swan.

Gemlundussogpanjan created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Gemlundussogpanjan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemlundussogpanjan, it will throw large rocks at you.

Gemlundussogpanjan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gemlundussogpanjan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gemlundussogpanjan.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Always look after injured grasshopers.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the south.