Libloopkab Yoklaglog Ortnatjan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring gnu.

Libloopkab Yoklaglog Ortnatjan created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Libloopkab Yoklaglog Ortnatjan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Libloopkab Yoklaglog Ortnatjan, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Libloopkab Yoklaglog Ortnatjan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Libloopkab Yoklaglog Ortnatjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not hurt snakes.