Tikkiknel Batbepduss is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, proud goose.

Tikkiknel Batbepduss created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tikkiknel Batbepduss, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tikkiknel Batbepduss, it will make you grow a tail.

Tikkiknel Batbepduss' most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tikkiknel Batbepduss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help sick moths.