Rilgarjig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, boastful scorpion.

Rilgarjig created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilgarjig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Rilgarjig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rilgarjig's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Rilgarjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention aardvarks.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.