Linweesug is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, irritating whale.

Linweesug created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Linweesug, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Linweesug, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Linweesug's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Linweesug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Ants are not to be trusted.

3. Never laugh in the presence of birds.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Hide if seven capybaras approach from the north.