Kennar is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, weak clam.

Kennar created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kennar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kennar, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kennar's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kennar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Never sing near turtles.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about gravity.