Bensompan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, witless gorilla.

Bensompan created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bensompan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bensompan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bensompan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bensompan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bensompan's priests.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.