Vadnegwab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful gerbil.

Vadnegwab created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vadnegwab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vadnegwab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vadnegwab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vadnegwab's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Vadnegwab loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed gooseberries to eagles while wearing red shoes.

5. Worship no other gods but Vadnegwab.