Dussmipgab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, compassionate turtle.

Dussmipgab created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussmipgab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dussmipgab, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Dussmipgab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dussmipgab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Dussmipgab loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.