Tafhanrul is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast giraffe.

Tafhanrul created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Tafhanrul, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tafhanrul, he will send you a sign.

Tafhanrul's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tafhanrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not take Tafhanrul's name in vain.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never feed parsnips to nematodes while wearing gray corsets.