Metmappombag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, dishonest troll.

Metmappombag created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metmappombag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Metmappombag, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Metmappombag's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Metmappombag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to sharks while wearing mauve corsets.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Metmappombag on top of all buildings.