Narlkemflamgutrowitmum is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fussy snail.

Narlkemflamgutrowitmum created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlkemflamgutrowitmum, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Narlkemflamgutrowitmum, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Narlkemflamgutrowitmum's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Narlkemflamgutrowitmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Narlkemflamgutrowitmum's name in vain.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always take life seriously.