Haknakjan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy pig.

Haknakjan created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Haknakjan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Haknakjan, he will be mildly annoyed.

Haknakjan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Haknakjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Never feed onions to cats while wearing pink scarves.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Haknakjan must be the most important thing in your life.