Bedjatkik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, thoughtless walrus.

Bedjatkik created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedjatkik, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bedjatkik, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bedjatkik's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bedjatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Retreat if four otters approach from the north.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bedjatkik on top of all buildings.