Figlarpzigbelldon Bessvinlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, slow mink.

Figlarpzigbelldon Bessvinlarn created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Figlarpzigbelldon Bessvinlarn, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Figlarpzigbelldon Bessvinlarn, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Figlarpzigbelldon Bessvinlarn's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Figlarpzigbelldon Bessvinlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.