Quaffodyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a small, quiet pigeon.

Quaffodyarp created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaffodyarp, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quaffodyarp, he will turn you into a plant.

Quaffodyarp's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Quaffodyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Never feed apples to manatees while wearing brown stockings.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Quaffodyarp loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. Hide from gray moths for they are unholy.