Banfunloop is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, strong otter.

Banfunloop created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Banfunloop, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Banfunloop, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Banfunloop's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Banfunloop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Banfunloop must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must never eat figs.