Jarnlakdabpom is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, narcissistic zebra.

Jarnlakdabpom created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnlakdabpom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarnlakdabpom, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jarnlakdabpom's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jarnlakdabpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.